Whiny people

The Letter of the Law:

I've never recapped a show that was cancelled so quickly, and, well, I feel kind of responsible. It's almost violating. And, most importantly, now I've got this backlog of recap-worthy pop-cultural references that I had been waiting to contextualize into an upcoming recap…a recap which will never come. So, in the interest of shedding myself of such ephemera rendered suddenly so useless, I'll just reel off a quick list of Djb-sanctioned words and phrases and moments in time that were to weave themselves elegantly into a Push, Nevada recap sometime between tonight's Episode Five and the lost-in the-ether Episode Twenty-Two.

The "I am your singing telegram" song from the film Clue

The "She stole my heart and my cat" spoken-word poem from the film So I Married an Axe Murderer

The Spencer-Gifts-esqe store "Over Our Heads" from the lean, waning Leachman years of Facts of Life

Big League Chew

The fact that, at the very end of the 1986 classic "What Have You Done For Me Lately," Janet Jackson quietly though emphatically whispers the observation, "This is wild. I swear it."

The fact that, at the very end of Paula Abdul's "Cold-Hearted Snake" video, the words "The dancers laugh" appear inexplicably on the screen

Hart's War

"Cake or death?"

The Morrissey song "We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful"

Marge Schott

The clown with the broom from amateur night at Showtime at the Apollo

"Sing Along With Colin"

The XTC song "Making Plans For Nigel"

Sonja Christopher

Crystal Pepsi

Crystal Gravy

Colon Blow

La Yogurt

Le Car

Choc Full o' Notes

Bloom County

The computer virus that sounds like it was scripted by a mail order bride who learned English sentence construction on the boat over that reads, "Hello, This is a IE 6.0 patch. I expect you would enjoy it."

TiVo's fast-forward sound

The Waitresses' song "I Know What Boys Like"

How cute the "I'm Just Mad About Saffron" boy was in the Gap commercial

"Kurt Cobain wore khakis!"

"Have you shopped Strawberry today?"

Laser tag

Was (Not Was)

Deee-lite songs that aren't "Groove Is In The Heart"

The Edie Brickell album "Picture Perfect Morning"

Tasmin Archer

Frente

Punch-Drunk Love

A website from way back in the old country called Mighty Big TV

Cry me a river, "hip-to-be-square" loser.

Software Surprises:

In the struggle to hold on to users, whose eyeballs and clicks pay the bills for ad-supported services, such well-known companies as AOL, Google, MSN, and Yahoo, among others, are increasingly bundling their free toolbars, instant messenger apps, and utility software together--or even with totally unrelated applications. The companies don't include truly dodgy spyware or adware, but customers nonetheless object to these unannounced visitors.

"I never said I wanted the [Yahoo] toolbar," says Miel Van Opstal, who found it on his PC after he upgraded his browser's Flash plug-in. "I feel betrayed, dirty, and used."

Here's a site that might help, whiner. PS: Buy a Mac.